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[Thursday, April 23rd, 2009 @ 10:15am] |
I became a vegan on sunday.
I've lost 4 pounds since then..
This is a good thing =)
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| number one april fool. |
[Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 @ 12:11pm] |
I guess all good things come to an end.
I thought he was different but I realize he's just as immature and inconsiderate as every other guy in the world...
I guess thats what I get with putting my faith in a boy who hasn't had time to grow up and be a man..
Life played the cruelest practical joke yet.
Happy fucking April fools.
Im going to go drown my sorrows at the bottom of a bottle.. atleast this time I could buy it.
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| Because I can't really talk about it and it bothers me |
[Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 @ 3:44pm] |
I have this button... and its cute and dainty...
Has 4 holes, and sown up just like it should..
So... now I have this button, Cute,dainty,4 holes,sown up as it should....
But I just can't help feeling like somethings wrong with it..
So I have this button, Cute, Dainty, 4 holes, Sown up as it should with something wrong with it..
Is it wrong because I feel its wrong even if outwardly nothings wrong with it? Or am i wrong for believing something thats isn't wrong is wrong?
So I have this button....
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[Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 @ 5:33pm] |
Did I ever tell you how wonderful my boyfriend is?
Well I suppose if you haven't gotten that impression yet, I assure you you will now.
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So... On Friday the 13th i spent the night at my aunts getting everything ready for the next day which wasn't a hard task at all really. Although i wished I could have gone to mallory's party =/.
Anyways.. the next morning I woke up early to go to the supermarket to buy the ingredients to make Shrimp Scampi and Shrimp Kebobs. =3
I had already previously made the mousse cups so those were done and must I say. Delicious.
Well everything made that night was amazingly delicious, my compliments to the chef ;D lol.
Anyways.. After I got the groceries and walked them up the 4 flights of stairs.. ugh.
I then went and picked up my wonderful boyfriend from the omni station in Downtown. He looked so cute... I would have kissed him 20 times over =3. Anyways, while sitting in traffic, he gave me the smallest box of the tiniest chocolate ever! I think I only ate one of the chocolates lol.. But that wasn't the part that made me cry.. actually I don't quite understand why I did.. after all material things are just that.. earthly wants without a soul. But when I opened that tiny little paper taped to that tiny little box I cried. I was so happy.. All it said was "Coming Soon" a little green Ipod nano..
Who cries for a nano? obviously I do. I suppose it was more of the gesture then the item itself. He bought me the nano because I had been complaining how my Mini which I had for three years already was beginning to die out. I guess it was because he decided to listen to what i had been saying.. and act upon to get me something I wanted. It showed me he cared enough to listen to me.. and tries to make me happy and it was that thought.. the he wants to, no matter if it costs him a whole paycheck to pay for it, to make me happy, that made me cry.
God.. I loved him every second.. not because he bought me the nano but because he loves me and I know it...
I've been blessed with the man of my dream.. pray I don't screw it up.
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With that said.. Valentines day was perfect.. the most perfect Valentines day.. and I daresay the best Valentines day i've ever had.
Especially when me and Brian played a joke on our friends pretending to have gotten into a fight and broken up and I must say it went over splendidly =3... We of course told them we had joked them and they all were so completely convinced that I had broken Brians little heart =3
Ahhhh it was wonderful.
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[Friday, February 13th, 2009 @ 1:54am] |
Have you ever been so excited that, although your tired.. you can't seem to fall asleep?
Yeah Im stuck in that limbo right now...
It's Valentines weekend...
Im very excited about spending the whole weekend with Brian. We've planned to "turn off" our cellphones, IE. put them on silent and ignore any phone calls/text messages that aren't from our parents.
So I guess I should warn that I am UNAVAILABLE for the weekend coming up. Actually if anyone calls me, pray I DONT pick up that phone cause the dragon lady will surface.
I want tomrrow.. (well technically today) and saturday to be PERFECT... I know I wont get that.. but as perfect as possible would be nice...
I guess I'll post after the weekend is over to reflect. I know this is going to be a weekend I'll want to cherish for a lifetime
Ever get those feelings like you're meant to do something extraordinary?
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[Monday, February 2nd, 2009 @ 8:49pm] |
Do you ever feel like your going the right way? Making the right decisions in life?
I feel like that.. i actually don't think i've ever felt like this, even when i was happy... or so i believed i was.
I finally feel im making the right decisions, that im progressing forward..
GOD I LOVE MY LIFE...
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[Monday, January 12th, 2009 @ 11:02am] |
Okay I realize i havent updated in awhile lol I think I'll take the time today while I hate my life in orgo.
Europe was amazing, I wish i could tell you all about it but its hard to encompass 2 weeks in an entry that isnt the size of a small novel.
but I have to say i loved London, there was so much history and the city was just amazing it was def. my favorite city of the ones i visited. Amsterdam was small and quaint but there wasnt much for me to enjoy besides the Anne Frank house. France was... well.. I can say that the metro rail system is something of envy, if miami had a metro system like they did, i would sell my car.
Versailles was beautiful!
In all I loved my trip, but it is nice to be back home with rules and regulations, and LINES. God europe is the most disorganized place ive been to!
but in all it was a nice trip and i cant wait to see other place!
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This weekend was FANTASTIC, I can honestly say, im more in love with Brian then I've ever been.
and its rather fascinating how, its going to be 4 months and by now the whole puppy love, smoochie smoochie bubble pops and the fantasies you've ever held about romance, love, and relationships just die away, and is replaced with reality, life doesn't change whether your with someone or not. I realize now my life doesnt change whether im with someone or not, I still have to deal with problems, life, school, family and love.
But the magic, that spark the bedazzles you, makes you smile when you feel it. It's like popping bubbly with drinks all around. This complete feeling of ease, just infuses your body and you glide gracefully upon the troubles of the world.
I can still feel it and I never find myself saying " what if I were single? What would it be like to be with that guy?"
Wishing I was anything but me, living a life that was nothing like my own.
I find myself thinking whens the next time I can see him, and how I wish he was with me, not how fast and hw far i can get away from him.
Yesterday we went to the Morikami New Years Celebration. The Gardens are beautiful, and even though he was dorkily dressed, the way he looked in the sunlight that streamed through the branches of the beautifully manicured trees was breathtaking. I knew from that very moment when he looked at me and quirked that half knowing yet, characteristically shy smile, I didn't want to look at another man ever again.
That very day I got a rather strange fortune told for me
Besides it being a very lucky fortune and the best one you could get out of their stack.
It said... under love"
" He/or she is the one you've been looking for."
Or something to that effect.
regardless, its what I needed to hear.
It quelled any fears I had of conjuring misconceptions of this beautiful man I watched look at me with eyes I could get lost in.
I left that day, wishing it wasn't over, to live in that moment, as the wind brustled the trees ever so gently, watching him, almost in slow motion, as his lips curved in that look I was familiar with, but with the small change, that now, without a doubt. I loved him.
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[Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 @ 4:39am] |
Well im back from my trip! how great is that?
Not so great im jet lagged feeling really tired at like 6 at night then falling asleep at 10 and still waking up at 4 in the morning it really blows.
Im not going to go into serious detail right now about my trip, that post will come later.
I just have to get this thought off my chest.
Last night Brian told me he didn't understand how he could land such a great looking girl. Pretty much implying that he sees me as some one out of his league. Now not to bitch i am pretty full of myself, and do think i've got looks, i've never complained about the way I look, but it wasn't the fact that he thought i was too pretty, but the very thought and wording itself that set me aback.
It's because I heard it once before.
I didn't realize how much it bothered me to think someone found ME out of their league, at least not him. I've never thought i was a gorgeous woman, i know i have a certain draw about me, whether it be my looks or my personality or a little bit of both, but ive never really thought of myself as being too pretty to be with someone.
It hurt me to think he didn't see how well he complements me as who I am. I'll joke to him on how everyone will wonder why I've picked him when I decide to dress up a little more then usual, but i guess it hits home rather then brushes off. The truth of the matter is, when we go out, I think we both are perfectly matched. There's not hiearchy of who deserves what, its just me and him and the rest of the world is nothing.
Ive heard from more people then i'd like that he wasn't what they expected and it all led down to my track record of good looking guys i've left in the dust and that Brian doesn't fit that pattern and it pisses me off because Brian has looks. Does everyone really think I lowered standard? I think I brought them up, judging my mates by higher standards and expectations. Brian maybe no Brad Pitt, or Holister Model but my god, the boy is cute.
His features make an interesting combination, and he's got the prettiest blue eyes i'd ever seen. Does no one see that but me?
Can't anyone else see that, as he gets older, he'll age better then most men can ever hope to.
I think people were made for each other and with that thought, he's perfectly made for me and I wish he'd believe the same.
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[Thursday, January 1st, 2009 @ 5:13pm] |
IF YOUR JUST GOING TO BE MAD AT ME STOP READING MY LIVEJOURNAL YOU ASSHOLE!
You should just suck it up and call me because I KNOW thats what you really want to do.
YES CHRISTOPHER ABELARDO MORENO IM TALKING TO YOU.
thats right you've just been called out. What are you going to do about that huh?
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[Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 @ 9:12am] |
I leave to europe today! I'll be back on the 5th, I'll try to update while in the different cities to tell everyone how im faring. I LOVE EVERYONE! (especially Brian =3).
Have a very Happy Holidays, See ya'll in the new year! =D
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[Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 @ 6:29pm] |
Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for.
------------------------------------
I spent a long night thinking about, what happened with me and Brian, and I woke up the next day pretty numb to the whole idea of "us". While I was at work I spoke with Brian about what happened.
Mid way through it all Brian had to go to his driving lessons leaving the IM window, the last words; I love you. I texted him back that I loved him too. And he asked me if it was something he really deserved.. and I just broke down crying, I had to run to the bathroom when I realized that all our arguing would make him think I wouldn't love him anymore.
He makes me want to be something more then what I am. He inspires me to be a better person each and everyday. When I see him, it's like my whole day gets brighter. My life seems worth living twice. If I was given a chance to do my life over again, I wouldn't change a thing because everything I've ever experience has led me to this very day. A day where I can say I love him more times then is necessary.
So, to hear him question, after everything we argued about, whether or not I could, would still love him, it just killed me and I realized I didn't want to argue with him anymore. I wanted it to be over so I could go back to being happy, and in love with him.
I'm happy to say we're working through this problem. of course this takes effort on both sides.
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[Sunday, December 14th, 2008 @ 7:34pm] |
Nothing compares to a quiet evening at home.
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I guess they weren't lying when they say theres trouble in paradise.
4 months and this is officially the worst day since.. I realized I hated myself.
Ugh. what can I say without coming off as being a terrible bitch.
I guess its just the distance is finally getting to me.
I realize I want to spend more time with Brian, but I can't and when I do get the chance, something always goes wrong.
I guess finally today it's broken through those iron defenses. Im on the brink of tears but realize I don't have the energy anymore to express sorrow. So instead i feel like this empty husk, where there should be a soul, but really is only the feeling that i just want to run away from everything including this feeling.
Brian feels he can't go out without upsetting me, and its true, I am angry. I want him to stay home and talk to me. I dont always want to keep him from his friends.. just some days more then others. Normally the day after I see him is the hardest.
And its just... I always feel unimportant compared to everyone else in his life. Kind of the feeling, out of sight out of mind? I know he's forgetful of things, I just didn't know he could forget people exist.
It hurts me more then anything in the world, to fall in love with a man who can forget you with the turn of night to day.
I know he's his own person, with his own life. He needs to spend time with his friends and family as well as me, but it seems that its increasingly difficult just to spend a day just with him, and not see anyone else.
I just want 50/50 but it seems like I have him only 30% of the time while everyone else has him at the drop of a hat.
He has problems being able to share partition himself amongst people.
but Im getting to the point where.. why should I give 100% when Im only going to get the same treatment half the time and the other half I'll only get 20%.
Im tip toeing the line, I dont know when I'll finally cross it into destructive ways.
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[Thursday, December 4th, 2008 @ 2:36pm] |
I HATE HATE HATE AHTE AHTEEEEfshfgwkgfklqs
when I have my period.. I get so angry and flustered.. and I just want to the world to die.. on a wide note.. I have cute little patches Im making thanks to marley <3
these are my first two.. I have 10 more in the waiting XD... if my fucking coworker ever gets her act together.
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In other news..
we're in love.
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[Friday, November 21st, 2008 @ 10:49am] |
So.. after months of denying my bestfriend.. I gave into reading Twilight, just because I was going to watch the movie with her.. so.. I read the book.. which was pretty crappy
but your drawn in by the seductive nature of your MC Edward Cullen. Yes, he's a sexy individual if you get rid of the fact that he's a panzy of a vampire. Maybe just an immortal would have made it better but not vampire.
Anyways.. so I saw the midnight movie last night..
That movie.. made the book like it was god descended upon this earth like chuck norris with a choir of angels singing its praise...
the movie.. was the biggest peice of SHIT.. I ever had the unfortunate fate of watching for two fucking hours...
DO NOT WATCH.. whether you are a twilight fan or not. it is NOT worth watching.. at all.. not even out of curiosity.. and if your going to watch it regardless and if you've read it.. just throw out everything you know about the book because it makes no sense..
Do yourself a favor.. wait to rent it. buy it bootleg.. this movie is terrible!
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[Friday, November 14th, 2008 @ 7:06am] |
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( Excerpt )
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| Stranded _ Plumb |
[Thursday, November 13th, 2008 @ 6:03pm] |
You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark alone
Waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to the sea
And I wanna be with you
And you wanna be with me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
And I don't wanna be
Stranded, stranded, stranded, stranded
I can only take so much
These tears are turning me to rust
I know you're waiting there for me to
come back
I'm to afraid to show
I miss you, I need you
Without you, I'm stranded
I love you so come back
I'm not afraid to show
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[Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 @ 7:55am] |
So I've decided to enter NaNoWriMo, and omg.. Im pulling my hair out already....
I can't believe I was talked into this bullshit.
Oh well...
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So.. lets sum up my weekend
friday
Went to class
Ran over to Brians house
Spent the whole morning at Sawgrass with Brian.
Picked up DJ from school
"Oh now she's going to ask you if I was your girlfriend" "I'll tell her 'No no, thats my bestfriends girlfriend *lewink*'" "LOLOLOLOL, your terrible"
Dyed DJ's hair red.
Saturday
Cleaned
Whined to Brian about how much missed him
went out to dinner for my moms birthday
came home and whined to Brian somemore.
Sunday
watched JUNO!.. Amazing
went to go see Brian
had the most airheaded moment when I decided to lock my keys in my car with the car still on and met his older sister like that. Go me. She had to call triple A for me to have them unlock my car... Man I owe that woman <3
Went to go see Zack and Miri make a porno
Made out like ravenous wolves!!!!!!! lolololololol
Went to Target...
Had "dinner" with his family
Played rockband for the rest of the night
All and all I had a great weekend. I just miss him terribly <3
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[Saturday, November 8th, 2008 @ 9:02am] |
Lay your Armor Down <3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh the concert last night was fantastic, I had such a frabjous time! =)
But I missed Brian terrible, I wish he had been there to share in the moment.
There's something so liberating about watching a band play, it feels like you'll never feel more alive. There's so much energy, and you get caught in the moment where it feels it's just you, and no one else, enjoying the love of the lyrics, and the joy the performers feel as they feed off of the energy from the crowd.
It's just.. plain amazing.
I can't wait for the next Show <3
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trampazfuk's journal
